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15th of August, my dads birthday, now I’m 16 and I don’t remember celebrating with him every year. I really want to, but can’t because he’s working far away in China.

this post is fully dedicated to my dad.

every year, we usually call him and wish him Happy Birthday and also send him an online E-card. but now I wonder, are E-cards really special? they’re all animated and all words and messages are usually written. sending a card there takes 2 weeks and it might not reach too sometimes, torn or wet too maybe. so the best way to keep it all right to me would be by posting it online.

*I am the one on my grandma’s hands* my daddy’s love could be seen in everything he’d done. since I am an infant, he love me so much, trying to give me the best of everything, and only one month old, he took me to Langkawi with an airplane. and I remember when I was a few years old, he took me to some helicopter too. also teaching me how to eat the expensive sushi and sashimi then, which was when I was around 5 or 6. training me how to eat spicy food, so I won’t be afraid of spicy-ness when I grow up. and now, also training me how to appreciate and consume wine, so that I won’t be drunk easily next time when I grow up.

he did all he can trying to support my family, giving us the best he could, always taking us to beautiful restaurants having us all dressed up nicely, just so we could be happy and live a comfortable life. even during the hard times, he would just let himself suffer without letting us know how difficult it is and cope into anything he can thought he could barely cope into, still giving the best to us, but only with one motivation, which is to make his family proud.

when I was at two, I grow up looking more and more like him, everybody thinks that I am just the female version of my dad. freatures, to the attitude, very alike. and I appreciate it because that’s what I am made of, my dad and my mom, just that I look a lot more alike with my dad. although he have no sons, but he don’t grumble and fret about it, and instead, he loves us more than those rich mans who craves for sons love their son.

he held me so close everytime it is his turn to take care of me, wanting me to be safe and have no problem with everything. I still remember that when I was younger, he used to teach my sister and me math by asking us to add up all the numbers in a car’s number plate. not only that, he used to drive my sister to school and asks her to say the maths table out loud and clear and said it is going to be my turn in a few years time.

unfortunately, in 1998, he went to China for his job. before that, I thought that it was okay and I wouldn’t miss him because when you were young, the dolls seem more important than your own parents, but as I grew up, I find it weird that I didn’t have a dad always being at home, even though he comes back once a few months, but it will only be for a short while. and I cherish the times when he’s here.

whenever he is back in Malaysia, we will go shopping and all. and when my dad used to buy me many things I want, I thought that my mom were being all evil by always not letting me have anything I want. but actually, it is because my dad is not always here and he wants to give what he could when he is with me. and I noticed what I want when I was young were nothing important nor useful. even so, he will still buy it for me even if it’s with an unreasonable price.

even if he can see me grow up just until I’m six, but I always thought that he saw me grow up because of these technologies. web camera’s, telephones, airplanes.. I don’t mind seeing my dad only on a flat screen eventhough it’d be better to see a 3D. I am not angry of him just because he couldn’t spend more time with me. I am actually happy to see my dad working so hard for the family, I felt proud to have such a good dad, and I feel blessed that he is my dad, not anybody else, because I know that nobody would suffer on their own just to let his or her family live a little more comfortable. not many people know what is it like to work alone in a foreign country, even your relatives can’t be trusted sometimes. he supported the whole family for so many years, and I am living very in a very comfortable surrounding, having a life that I think is perfect.

when I was young, nobody really liked me because I was so stupid, but my dad is the one that makes me feel not so stupid eventhough people think that I will fail in everything if I continue being lazy. instead, my dad told me that he have faith in me and thinks highly of me. and I like it that my father is proud of me. and no matter how lazy now, I want to and I will try my best to make him proud, even if it’s almost impossible as I’m very very lazy. but I will certainly do what I can. I guess to succeed is what every parent want to see from their children. unless that parent is not a parent.

and also when I think I am ugly, my dad will say that I am pretty and because of me looking like him, I look even prettier of course. no matter what, my dad will always think I am special and important even if I am not.

and no matter how busy, vacations are always provided, no matter near or far, it’s always so happy. it does mean that no matter how busy, he will make time for us whenever he can. even if he’s in China, he calls back often and talks to us. I really feel bad that he is the only one working. I hope when my sis is staying in China, she’ll help him out more and also let him feel loved too. I’ve been always taking from my dad, and never giving, or maybe because I am too young, I really really want to give him more, as much as I can.

I don’t think I’d ever get it why people will hate their own parents for caring for them and also budding into their lives, and for those who didn’t like taking pictures with their parents thinking it’s a shameful thing because they always treat you as a kid while taking pictures, I really don’t get them. I don’t get it why they don’t treasure the moment and the memories, and even if I look like a total mushroom head in that picture, but I still love it because it looks so happy and perfect. until now, I think that pictures taken with parents are really something we should appreciate. and no matter what, you’re their baby.

and until when I’m older, I finally get to go to China to see where my dad is living at and how is it like. I found out that it’s rather difficult to cope into mandarin when you’re a total banana, and my mandarin bases are actually better than my dad when he first when there, but for now, you could hardly even get to differentiate his mandarin with the China mans one. I can imagine how hard it was to learn mandarin just with the “speak mandarin today” books and how hardworking he was to finally learn it himself, not even with any tutors.

I understand that it is really tough to be in his position, but as he is, I felt that he is the wisest man I’ve ever known, because he isn’t all outdated or like any uncle you know, he is very in! like the boots I’m wearing in this picture, he choose it for me, and I think it’s gorgeous. and did you notice that he’s wearing a pair of converse? my dad is not only great, he’s fashionable. he have 4 times more clothes than me. surely a lot more pair of shoes, bags and pants. I am really proud to say, that my dad is a cool dad. and I will still love him as much even if he is not so cool.

in school, once there were this essay the teacher gave us entitled “the person you admire most”. many people wrote about Dr Mahathir, Tun Abdul Razak, some geniuses and some psychics. but for me, I wrote about my dad. no matter how smart others is, to me, my dad is still the best guy I can find on earth. he is funny, willing to sacrifice for his own family, hardworking, smart, tall, handsome!, loving, cute, etc. no guy is better than him, and I am keen with my thinking.

and today, I would like to wish daddy a Happy 56th Birthday. everybody in the family loves you daddy. we all do. thank you for everything. everything you’ve given to me, even the piece of durian you bought for mommy in the middle of the night just because she wants to eat it when she is having me. and thats no wonder why I love durian so so much. =D.

so hot right?! that’s me! all infants have a bulky tummy! I am quite sure you have it too when you were just 1-2 years old. =P.

half way through bathing I saw some red dots in various sizes and colours on my arm and I was totally freaked out. I didn’t know what it was nor what caused it. I just know that I felt it quite itchy and rubbed on to it for just a little while in the morning in class and now, it became something I’ve never seen before. I know how mosquito bites are okay. I dragged my sister who is always in the “slow motion” mode to go to the clinic with me, and she, unwillingly went to the clinic with me. and her being unwilling is because once I thought my neck is bloated, maybe some not-so-serious kind of goitre (ok! FINE! goitre are for the older people. I KNOW!), so I went to the clinic with drops of sweat all over my face ;

Me : Doctor, I think my neck is bloated, is it some infection? *brain fully filled with curiosity*
Doctor : *touches my neck and clears his throat looking at me like he is looking at somebody fuzzy, which yes, he is.* It’s fats.
Me in mind : OH MY GOD WTH SO BLADEE PAISEH!#%^#*%#! but it is better than he saying ” it’s _____ infection “. thank goodness.

back to my story. so this time, I hope that it is not just because I scratched it too roughly; nor I hope it’s something infectious, chronic or something-that-will-worsen. and also my sister was putting her full attention in hearing what the doctor says hoping he will say ” it’s just because you scratched that insect bite too roughly and therefore there are rashes-like spots ” and burst out in pure laughter like how she and my mom did the other time about my neck. so what happened was ;

Me : Doctor, is these rashes *points at rashes* here caused by some infection or something??
Doctor : *touches my hand, touches more, and continue touching to feel if there are any bumps* hmm.. is it itchy?
Me : the big red spot there was itchy earlier this morning but not anymore now..
Doctor : seems like it is because your skin is very sensitive then, I’ll give you some medicine for it.
Me : *completely clueless* so is it just-nothing-much?
Doctor : yeah it is nothing much.
Me : so what exactly is it?
Doctor : it’s dermatitis.
Me in mind : ZOMG! IT SOUNDS TOTALLY SCARY!
Me : what is dermatitis?
Doctor : it’s skin problem, allergic etc.
Me in mind : s..k..i..n.. PROBLEMS. okay. *rolls eyes*

sound more like a boring and lame interview, I know right.

so here’s a picture of it, the rashes on my arm which just suddenly pops out, and as I remembered, I REALLY JUST RUBBED ONTO IT SOFTLY!

it doesn’t look so bad in the picture, but in reality it scares quite much. gosh, get well soon Jamie. =(.

I have deeper eye bags now, stupid exams! me posing with my sister’s graduation flowers;

I am so so so jealous, I’ve never received a bouquet of flowers ever before. but not like totally nothing, I did receive a single white rose back in Form 1, and a red one in Form 2 BUT STILL! it’s just two.

flowers, in my opinion are quite a waste of money, but spending some extra cash to see that big smile on a girls face once in a while, isn’t it worth it? if you’re not rich, getting it often is really a waste of money, but not even occasionally? please-larh. a guy whom buys a single flower every time he dates a girl would be super ideal. to me at least. and also, tastes in picking flowers are as important as buying it or not. nowadays they have roses dyed in blue, purple or orange, which looks totally unattractive to attract people by thinking it’s something “new”. I’d rather have a chrysanthemum flower rather than a fake and dull looking dyed-rose. okay-larh I know I shouldn’t get this because nobody even gave me a bouquet of the tiny flowers that grew by the side of the streets. why am I talking about flowers?! I should stop! =D. toodles. exams again.. how to memorize bio formula’s on the next post! =)

YESTERDAY, in tuition class, something happened.

Situation - boy 1 disturbs girl 1

Teacher : oi! stop kau lui la!! (stop tackling her!)

Boy 1 gives a “whatever” look and continues disturbing.

Teacher : sigh.. whenever there is honey, there are bee’s.

Girl 1 laughs

Boy 2 : but teacher, whenever there is SHIT, THERE ARE FLIES TOO!

Girl 2 (me!) gives a “swt” look.

Girl 1 looks annoyed.

Boy 2 : and Girl 1, I don’t think you’re honey.

Girl 1 looks pissed.

end of story.

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haha so random. but good one eh? =P.

nobody’s after me, so I’m not either xD. yays?

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#1 Korean biscuit!

my rating-lah.

can be found at the Korean Marts in Ampang.

MUSHROOM BISCUITS!! yummms.

it just have the perfect taste for every sweet tooth! it’s true! just try it! no harm right? =D. for me, I’d go to every Korean Mart I see to find this =P.

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I feel so so so bad, flu’s running, can’t breath well. ugh I hate this sick feeling. it’s like I have tissues stuck on my nostrils and it’s super-glued. I want to go to Sungei Wang I want to go to Sungei Wang I want to go to Sungei Wang!

exam’s next next week. very bored-lah. bye!

yesterday somebody I know said “guys treasures girls whom are hard to get more”. and I think that it is REALLY STUPID. for my age, seriously, having a boyfriend or not is not important, and the best is not to. but when it comes to this topic, I really hate it when people THINKS that girls whom are hard to get are better. ain’t love about.. LOVE? about the feelings? about how compatible you are, about how comfortable you feel when you’re with that person? it ain’t about “oh you don’t want me, I like you even more”. it’s about “so you like me too, it’s fate!

can’t some people just realize how lucky it is for somebody you really like to like you back? it’s not only about who’s hot and who’s not. it’s about compatibility. as long as that person fulfills your requirement like not too ugly, not too fat, not too skinny and they’re very compatible with you, more like soul mates, then congratulations, you’ve found the one. but if you kept thinking “gosh, she’s so easy to get, cheapo.” then I guess you’re just another sick uncivilized barbarian. can you try to define cheap? easy to get doesn’t mean that they are cheap, because if that one person you like likes you back, I don’t see why there is a need to slow down the whole process and play hard to get. what cheap girls is to me are those who goes clubbing, meeting anonymous and having a one night stand with them after clubbing, more like sleeping with a different guy everyday, which is sick.

I don’t see why so many people go clubbing anyway, it’s all smoky. I hate smokes, it makes me sick, I’m kinda allergic to it. and also, it’s more like a waste of money. going occasionally would be alright, but not often of course.

okay back to the topic. SO some of you think that if that girl is easy to get then she will probably get dumped? if that guy she like only treasure girls that are hard to get then that guy is 100% not suitable for her. because the guy doesn’t love her for her, he just love to have flings. and girls, these type of people is not worth your time at all. don’t any of you agree with me? those guys who like hard-to-get girls are just arseholes who think that they’re the king of the world. like they are worth liking for.the sea is filled with fishes, and arrogant (those who thinks all girls loveee them) ones are just some infected fish. =)