those who’s a close follower of my blog will know how much I’ve been through especially the past few months. these past few months got me thinking even harder about who I really am, my purpose in life and how I want to live it. and trust me, after you go through some real hardships, life seem to be so much brighter and easier. what I went through made me realize how lucky I am to be able to have freedom, to make my own choices, and therefore I shall not take my freedom for granted.

but most importantly, it also taught me to be nicer to others. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be nice, really.

I used to be really competitive and I also had a lot of resentment and hate, being jealous and upset at people whom are better than me (especially academically), resenting people who mistreated me, ignoring people whom I think are bad, and I may also have been mean to people whom actions I am not too fond of, but I am trying harder to find out more about why they do the things they do and try to respect that; and be nice.

the past.

I was and am usually happy-go-lucky and easy to get along for those whom are nice to me. I thought everyone liked me but unfortunately, I often get ignored by my own relatives and sometimes some of my own friends. I always wonder if it is me. if I am not a likable person and I kept telling myself that they are mean people hence I will just ignore them because ignorance is bliss. but especially for families, it is really difficult. especially during the yearly family gathering. I am not trying to say that blood is thicker than water, but it is just something that we shouldn’t ignore. among some people, I am simply just unapproachable, among my extended relatives, they had always labelled me as a spoiled snobbish brat; studying overseas, always travelling, and using my good grades to put my family in a heavy financial burden. they never knew the other side of the story, but well, because of how they had always ignored me, I never let them have a chance to get know me better. they judged me and talked behind my back, so why should I even care about them? the thing about me was, if I tried to be nice, and you weren’t, I am not going to be nice to you. ever. I was always bullied as a kid, hence the resent I have for people whom are not nice.but I learned that being like that only made me more unhappy. all the hate I had whenever I bumped into those people who were mean to me were just driving me crazy. I was slowly letting hate engulf me. and then I myself became judgemental, and I stereotype people.

what I have learned.

in the past few months, I had open my eyes to see how even people whom are socially labelled as a bad person, aren’t all bad. I believe that everyone have their own untold stories, and it is probably the worst to pretend to understand. but we are humans, we are judgemental. so what can we do? well, we get educated. movies always try to educate us in many ways, but when we come out of the cinema, we tend to forget about the moral values and go back to being the shallow person we are. sometimes you think you know that person just because you are facebook friends with them and had hung out a couple of times. but rational people do not usually like to bring out their hardships as it will bring down the mood. and when they do, you’d be saying “why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” well darling, because you didn’t ask. a person wouldn’t tell you that they had been bankrupt, convicted, got cheated on etc.

but more importantly, why do you only have to treat someone nicer after knowing that they have been through such hardships?

and that brings me to my main point of being nice. not only does it make you feel great about yourself, you will find yourself to be happier, have more people being nice BACK to you, and focus on things you are supposed to be focusing on instead of wasting time on hate.

so here I am with my new year’s resolution: to be nice to everyone.

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shuvayan basu
shuvayan basu
7 years ago

I am with your resolution..

7 years ago

Hi Jamie, I think you are turning into a more emphatic person through considering people’s inner troubles before making a judgment (I hope I interpreted it right hehehe). Perhaps, we share the same perspective in terms of befriending people. Normally, I really wouldn’t regard people who hate me. My pride is very high for them. But when I went through a major personal metamorphosis (both socially and emotionally), I tried to change that, I tried to befriend people whom I don’t normally get along with. You see, just trying to be nice (But this is in a different context) It turned out that I bumped into the meanest people of all, by lowering my pride I have become vulnerable and they crushed it down like a mashed potato. The thing is I picked the wrong people to befriend with, and I realized that doing that made me hate myself. What I did
wasn’t wrong but I hope I was able to screen the people I got along with. It was absurd for me as it worked to some people whom I am not used to being friends with.
20s is the age when we compete alot not knowing we are stepping on other people, (they stepped on me). Maybe we weren’t mature enough to realize things that are more important. There are just people that do
not like us no matter what we do, I had to understand them, and I had to let it go. I also realized that being mature is understanding people more, and I think WE are one step closer to being one.