I’m not sure how many of you do this, but I’ve always low key believed in feng shui. At the end of every year, I check how the following year is going to be like for me – to be exact, for a water monkey; because that’s what I am.
Before 2020 came, I thought 2019 was one of the worst years. Well one because feng shui said so, and for reasons that I cannot even remember anymore as I’m writing, I just remembered feeling like I had a very difficult time, and that 2020 is where my “bad luck” will turn, also because feng shui said that it will.
Trying to think back on what happened in 2019, I spent the first half of the year studying like I had no friends and no social life for a difficult financial exam, which I fortunately passed. The process was excruciating because I felt tired after work, and I still had to fit in 2-3 hours of study time. Not to mention I studied for 6-8 hours on weekends. On the exam day itself is where Hong Kong saw one of the largest protests in history, shutting down most transportation.
And of course, from that day onwards, we saw protests, tear gas, blocked roads, having to go home early because of it, trouble getting back to the office after lunch or trouble getting to the office at all, begin tearing right after exiting the MTR because the teargas had been let out somewhere near… and it felt like there was no stop to it. It was a difficult time for everyone on both sides. I learned to stock up food and stayed home more as I was afraid there might not be any transportation open since I lived in the heart of Wan Chai – also the heart of the protests. It’s almost like I was slowly training for the pandemic to come, but honestly being stuck in a room smaller than 180sqft was not fun. Almost felt like I’ll start being claustrophobic. Half a year quickly passed, there were good times and the very bad, but travelling made it all a little more tolerable for me. As I got to see my family and best friends in Malaysia and Korea more often, meeting new friends and all, trying to find positivity while dealing with massive stress both internal and external.
Then 2020 came. And so did the pandemic. Checking the news every morning to see how many people got detained and where are the next protests turned to checking how many people got infected, where they’ve been and where I should avoid. Although we probably had it better in Hong Kong than a lot of other places in the world, again, being stuck in a small place (though double the size of my old place, it’s still not a place for you to stay home 24/7) made it all more stressful. I know I’m relatively “safe” in Hong Kong since numbers ain’t that high and perhaps over 99% of the population wears masks when they go out. But this is one of the most densely populated city in the world, and maybe the risk aversive mindset plus the OCD-ness of myself made me all the more worried about the entire situation. Not to mention Hong Kong didn’t see much or any local cases for months.. until the 3rd wave, which further jeopardized the economy. I really hope other countries/cities can learn from this and be really cautious when opening up the economy.. because 3rd waves are the worst, even when you look at history. Plus this virus is not really just another “flu” but actually something that can potentially affect the weaker ones and most people’s health for LIFE. So please do stay safe and keep clean. It really bothers me when I see people hanging out in groups, going for parties etc. so let’s just all stay home and be “hangingout sick” for a bit. I’m sure most of you can relate, though it sounds ridiculous compared to people out of jobs, there’s nothing really directly stressing you out, but you just feel stressed out. So hang in there.
I’m really grateful that I still have a job and things are about the same despite having to work from home since feb. My bed no longer calls for me and I can sit however I want when working. Work’s great because at least I have something to do and time passes quickly at home. But then somehow, you realize that it’s August and you’ve done nothing special at all outside of work. And your life is pretty much work – tv – sleep – repeat. Nothing interesting, no drama, no stories. If life in 2020 was an ice cream… it’ll be just ice and no cream, not even vanilla. So this week I decided to finally revisit some of my old hobbies: writing, take pictures, maybe venturing into creating videos with final cut pro that I invested so much in but eventually only using it on one video.
And guess what? I realized that my blog hosting had expired around a month ago and was told that the data would be purged if payment is not made. Like.. a month ago. So I was told to be mentally prepared to part with my blog. My heart just sank. It felt like an art I’ve spent years and years working on just got destroyed. It’s way too harsh. I have to admit that my blog had been stale for a while, especially in 2020 (my last post was in January can you believe it?). But not because I don’t have time to write, but mostly just not feeling like writing from all that exterior “stress” where I just want to sleep for most weekends. Plus it always felt like I needed to go somewhere exciting or eat something unique to be able to write. But I know better that that’s all just an excuse I give to myself.
Today I received some messages from some readers whom had followed me for a while that they really enjoyed reading my posts. My posts which are far from perfect, the posts I actually spent hours on.. and it felt so worth it that I spent all that time, even just for a handful of genuine readers. I’m really grateful to each and every one of you! As a matter of fact, I’m writing now on Word while waiting to see whether my blog will survive the purge (or was the data even purged). I promise to write more if over 10 years’ worth of my content can be salvaged, and I really hope I can keep my promise this time.
Wish me luck and goodnight.
Well because you’re seeing this post, means my data has been saved! yay! more posts to come :).