I guess it is still quite hard for me to believe how one can change. but while I’ve been noticing how much others have changed, I recently came to realize (well, quite late huh?) that I myself have changed. my views, my personality, my taste in things.. I guess the only thing that hasn’t changed is my confidence.. and my name. haha.
the world is really not as simple as it is. and us humans? we are just crazily complicating. and the more you know about the real world, the more it destroys you because it is just soooo messed up.
I was once told that if you’ve been bad, you’d know how to be good. but if you were always good, once you’ve seen bad, you might just find bad thrilling. it is a shame, but I think I was the good. being in Korea alone had made me open my eyes to so many things which I’ve never dream of. I don’t know if it is slowly corrupting my decent brain but I gotta say some people here are not really in their right minds.
up till the point I realized that I was being too nice, I started being mean. and when I change, I change. I was not the nice girl anymore who would say yes to everything and would help you because it is polite to. but now? I guess I start to see the bad in people when all I did was to look for the good in every person. and this ridiculously bad behavior has somewhat taken me over.
and I hate it.
I find myself being much more offensive, much more straight forward and much more.. mean.
where’s the Jamie who once only see the good in people, and who only thought of how to find a way out rather than just.. complaining.
I really need to look for my old self. not that it is good to be completely like that innocent fragile girl who would be hurt. I’ve already gotten stronger, and now all I really need? is to be mentally sane.
I shall not let the insane people drive me crazy.